Would you look a there! Such a gorgeous view to see another beautiful soul looking to regain their whole self.
I'm Joshuanna Woods, owner of Love Deprived LLC and author of 'Who Am I' and 'They Spoke to Me'. I also go by the handle 'LoveDeprived89' while writing erotic poems and often short pieces about life. My intentions are not to be naughty but to open up deep conversations about our desires and patterns.
The passion that moved me to creating such a bold movement into soul searching was the loss of my mother and finding peace in writing my feelings out as I questioned why to many life problems. Losing my mother at 13 was hard enough, but I also was dealing with overcoming the trauma of sexual abuse. I recall a period where I was numb and did not care what happened. I also recall loving hard and desiring to feel as whole as possible. Being deprived of my innocence was the trigger to me feeling less than but as I grew older and made a few more mistakes from thinking less of myself, I realized we all feel some type of deprivation, whether it is from an unwanted act, unpopular trait, disability, lack of resources... the list can truly go on. We all are desiring to feel desired by someone, but do we truly understand the beauty we have to offer? I didn't!
It was not until I was on my third pregnancy, married, and living 12 hours away from home. I was isolated and giving all, I knew to give, but it wasn't enough. I recall him telling me once in an argument that my problem was "I loved him more than I loved myself." That was the pivotal moment I began to question "why did I love him more than myself?" The truth was, I though love was all that mattered in a relationship. If we loved each other, we could work through anything. That was in 2012 and the beginning of a rocky road to loving myself. I had established and planned a life with this man for over 3 years and thought ending it would be the end of my life. I mean, it felt like that when I could no longer look to him to supply my needs and the friendship we had built for over 5 years crumbled.
Divorce was never in my plan but once I was free of that situation, I began loving on me. I vowed not to settle for a relationship unless marriage was the goal. I still stand on that, but I did not prepare for the situation-ships I ended up in. I recall thinking I could not love anyone deeper than I loved my ex-husband; but the more I loved me, the deeper I loved the individuals I gave my time. I learned what I truly desired with each situation, but more importantly I learned what allowed these situations to development and what I desired from a relationship.
This is the background of how my books "Who Am I' and 'They Spoke to Me' developed. A collection of poems I've written over time, pieced together to tell my story of growth through relationships and reflection. Also, inside are pages for self-reflection, because we all learn from each other. These books would not be here without the encouragement of my battles during a mission in 2020, Rowdy Solomon and his poetry groups, my friends, and mere strangers who listened to me vent. From their encouragement and research, I've formed the confidence to do what I've also dreamed of doing. Speaking up!
Being whole, starts with you and I'm excited to take that journey with you! Stick around as I share my experiences, photos, and clips from events as I learn to speak up for myself and YOU!
~LoveDeprived89~
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